TOXIC TO TRUST

INTRODUCTION

Trust is a word that is in high demand but has become so hard to identify because it has been disguised through deceit that at the end of the day shows up in the form of toxic behavior. Now what does it mean to be toxic?

DEFINITION TO TOXIC BEHAVIOR

Toxic means to be harmful by marking territories, through unpleasant and unsupportive actions that make it seem as though it’s for the best interest at heart but, at the end of the day, leaves you with a strange surety of unfulfillment. And those of us who are changed if we’re honest we have all once upon a time experienced being toxic in other’s lives and toxic people being, in our lives by default and deliberately. But, people who set out to remain deliberately toxic meaning, intentionally choose not to change and take accountability for their harmful acts no time soon are underserving of your time, your space, and your efforts but definitely deserving of our prayers because at this point they’ve become the kind of people that have lost all moral values for their own lives and try to live through your moral values by devaluing your life.

INTRODUCTION TO TOXIC BEHAVIOR

It’s like they end up in your life to access your time, your space, and your efforts like a full - time job, like a 9-5, like work that leaves you unsatisfied by clocking into your heart in order to work your mind overtime, all to leave your entire being depleted.

EXAMPLE TO TOXIC BEHAVIOR

Which means by continuing to gain access to the seat of your inner thoughts, emotions and will. It’s gaining access so that they can continue to view and cause you to reenact that personal place that has time stamped every day, second, minute, hour, month and years of your inner dialogues and feelings. Those inner dialogues and feelings from years of hurt where they were supposed to protect you but settled to reject you, where they should’ve been leading and directing you to be functionally skilled in life, skilled to know how to plan in life, skilled to know how to prepare in life, skilled to know the right pressures to adhere to and the wrong pressures not to adhere to in life, skilled to know how to be picked in life and how not be a pick me in life, but instead left you while being there, while being visible and accessible as can be dysfunctionally skilled in life, skilled to accept abuse of all kinds Spiritually, Mentally, Physically, Emotionally, Financially, and Naturally due to them dropping you off right where you were being wide open in a position to figure life out for yourself. And now as a result of this hurt and abuse that has been produced due to their past and present behavioral rancorous your inner dialogues and feelings participated in distracting pursuits that performs through your present behavioral responses. You don’t believe me?

THE 3 CATEGORIES TIED TO TOXIC BEHAVIOR

You ever wonder why as you wake up each day to face the world Infront of you there are those days when your communication within yourself gives that pull of determination from the Divine to break through every barrier that has kept you bound which, is to break through every stumbling block, every stronghold, that appears in front of you that cause you to get tripped up and lose your balance as you step through life to the point of where YOU SEE IT: which means mentally you can even identify what every stumbling block is and  where every stumbling block is stemming from.

YOU IMAGINE IT: which means you visualize it; you look into it like a mental vision board you currently know where you’re with the wall that you’re up against and how every stumbling block needs to be prioritized as you get to where you’re going futuristically.

YOU BUILD IT: which means mentally you strategize it, you put an intentional plan in place that will cause your well-being to be promoted by turning these stumbling blocks now into steppingstones that’s going to be out of 1 of the 3 or all 3 of these categories that we’re getting ready to discuss below.

 In other words, the 1st category is TOXIC FAMILY FROM CONCEPTION,FOSTER, and ADOPTION: that’s the family you’re born into by way of bloodline or lifeline and for somebody It maybe to the point of where your communication within yourself is saying this stumbling block of confusion where everything always turns out loud in debate because you know what you feel but at the same time you want to convince yourself that you’re being talked to affirmed and accounted for Vs. really being talked at attacked and antagonized for ambush behind your back. Due to the planting and watering of VERBAL ABUSE from your parent or parents, sibling or siblings, grandparents, Aunts and uncles etc.… for natural mistakes that came with natural development if you had a message that you wanted to say or a question that you wanted to ask but it wasn’t conveyed their way you were made to feel with aggression that you were incapable and incompetent that now keeps causing you to lose your balance of contentment guard all the way up instead of your guard being steady to protect your uneasiness that has left you up against the wall of a cold heart numb to everyone around to where when you see others you say to yourself don’t look at me, don’t say nothing to me, don’t touch me. You have finally decided that you’re going to take all of this and move forward through the stepping stone of new connections which means that you’re going to place yourself around other familiar people who share your same interest and are already where you’re trying to go with your best interest already in mind by not only listening to you but taking time to hear you to help you also so that you can catapult through your circumstances with fair and equal communication whom understand that you’re not where they’re but realize it takes nothing away from them by being willing to come down to where you’re so that you can receive and apply the right accountability, responsibility and constructive criticism for a successful life.

The 2nd category is TOXIC FAMILY FROM CHURCH: that’s the family you’re born into by way of believers and for somebody it maybe to the point of where your communication within yourself is saying this stumbling block of comparison where everything always turns out them over me because she looks more sanctified and she you look more paganized, she’s a married mother with children and you’re a single mother with children, she works for the state by way of a successful work week and you get funds from the state by way of welfare, she lives in a 4bd 2bth home and you live in a 1bd 1bth apartment, she shops at high end stores Gucci and you shop at low end stores the goodwill. Due to the planting and watering of EMOTIONAL ABUSE from your pastor, those who work close with the pastor, and those members who the pastor has placed over ministries of self-fulfilling prayers and prophecies and without even given a chance being told that you’re going to have a hard way through life, that you would never amount to anything, being exposed in front of the congregation with lies of other people’s sins that were projected on you that now keeps causing you to lose your balance of commitment in and out until you give up relinquishing yourself from the ministry as a whole because here it’s all about conquering to divide over collaborating to diversify that has left you up against the wall of a condemned heart made to feel like you’re wrong and guilty for the personality that God has given you to exist in while feeling He himself regrets your existence through Him. You have finally decided that you’re going to take all of this and move forward through the stepping stone of courage which means that regardless of what you see taking place around you you’re going to stand down and you’re going to remove self from taking things into your own hands, from stepping ahead of God to approach these same people without His directions which will make you out of order just like them causing your words to fall on death ears because of where their decisions derived from if not you can put yourself in a place of delay of being able stand dedicated and as hard as it is sometimes you realize that the blessing is you devoting to this not just for yourself but for all those involved as you prepare for Gods directions for your exit.

The 3rd category TOXIC FAMILY FROM COMMUNITY: that’s the family you were born into by way of befriendment and for somebody it maybe to the point of where your communication within yourself is saying this stumbling block of control where everything always turns out chained to their way of doing things regardless of the hurt, harm, and hindrance’s it brings upon you due to the planting and watering of PHYSICAL ABUSE from what started out as your male friends but ended up much more, female friends who started out as your day 1 but ended up your backstabber, friend of friends who started out as a hook up but ended up set up and punished violently that keeps causing you to lose your balance of confirmation the assurance that you know in your vulnerability your impulsive areas of weakness good and bad you were vetted out watched and wanted long before you seen them arrive in the mask of a vindicator a savior complex where if you allow them access they can grant you success they can take whatever is on the inside and turn it around for your good all to recognize once access was granted they were really a vulture a prey not pray who looked upon your sickness of fear of loneliness, lack of love and injuries of distress and depression that they could eat on and get full off of while leaving you for dead that has left you up against the wall of a confined heart whatever self-worth you have is outweighed by the self-sabotage you hold. You have finally decided that you’re going to take all of this and move forward through the stepping stone of cancellation which means that you’re going to take the proper safety measures of protecting yourself according to your circumstances and those who are apart of you in order to cut off all contact of how you know you’re contracted and tied in to them, from phone, address, job and all social media mail.

THE BATTLE BETWEEN TOXIC BEHAVIOR

Now every finalized decision that you have decided to make for whatever category you find yourself in inspite of the cold-heart, inspite of the condemned-heart, and inspite of the confined-heart is great but at the same time you’re feeling that sense of excitement you have to very be careful not to slip into becoming comfortable and complacent within self not to take on the mindset of now that I have made my decision I can breathe and just relax so long and to the point of where before you know it your restfulness has snuck in laziness because any decision that goes unutilized eventually turns into and is left at a stuck unwilling thought because a lot of times we fail to realize the fact that decisions doesn’t end just from the communication within yourself that gives that pull of determination from the divine but this is where guess what, the battle actually starts because where ever the spirit is wounded there will be warfare against the win, there will be a contest of tug a war between the good you’re thinking being what you want to do but not quite in motion as of yet and the bad you’re thinking being what you don’t want to do but what you’re already doing that has been given a head start in motion for years but trusting that God will see you through because the more intensifying the tug becomes you will began to feel like you can’t withstand which can weaken your will into being pulled into your own mind causing now the communication within yourself to turn into that pull of determination for your demise by second guessing yourself and belittling yourself with statements like I’m going to speak it and do it exactly how God has given it to me to speak and do then, as you begin to think about everybody and everything that’s going to have to be a part of it next thing you know you’re telling yourself nah, I can’t speak it or do it this way, I’m adding to much or I’m not adding enough, I’m not going to look right or sound right, they’re going to use this to traumatize me, talk about me, and throw me out like trash even more so to avoid opportunities from presenting itself to come to you or for you to come to them you carry it out by running, hiding, and settling. You say you know what never mind I have decided I’m just going to forget about the counseling, the courage and the cancellation and start my new beginning by staying private and to myself when I see their phone number I know I’m going to get startled and my eyes are going to get big like I’m going into shock but I’m just going to forward the call or just look without following up at all. When I see them in public and say there they go, why do they have to be here today while they’re coming in my direction I’m just going to pretend like I’m looking for something in my purse or on my phone that way all I have to do is wave with a smile and keep going or hurry up and get gone in the opposite direction so they cannot inquire about anything but I’m here to tell you toxic people are trained to know just like you know this isn’t a new beginning this is a prison a built wall where you have become so you think your only best friend where you think you’re playing it safe but really sacrificing yourself from self-suffiency not realizing that inspite of what has been said and done to belittle yourself is in turn to bully yourself out of everything God wants you to believe and achieve concerning yourself.

FROM TOXIC TO TRUST

SO HOW DO WE MOVE FROM TOXIC TO TRUST?

King Solomon who was the 3rd king of Israel known to be the wisest man who ever lived left us with a major portion of wise proverbs of profound divine truths that offers us guidance also general case advice to live more fruitful lives through wisdom. And 4 of those proverbs can be found in chapter 3:5,6.

Proverb # 1 YOU HAVE TO LET GOD GUIDE YOUR DEVELOPEMENT

The 1st PART OF Vs.5 Says: TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL THINE HEART;

This word trust means to be confident and secure it is to say that in order to move from toxic to trust all that time, space, and effort that was taken from you that caused you to lose your balance of contentment, commitment, and confirmation leaving you up against the wall of a cold-heart, condemned-heart, and confined-heart, although You can’t redo your past you responsibly now in your present have to take it back by allowing your abilities, everything that you know you’re capable of and able to do now with your time, space and efforts for new connections, courage, and cancellation to be properly placed, which is to be set up, set still and anchored within the standard will and way of the LORD and just to clarify not the lowercase lord in reference to the human ruler but the capital LORD in reference to the Holy Ruler God Himself who is The Creator of all creation who is also in reference to the entire God head existing in 3 Persons, Genesis 1:27- Tells us God spoke: Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature it is for us to see ourselves through Him by modeling after His mental and moral character through God The Father who is our giver of the instructions, God The Son Jesus Christ who is God clothed in the flesh who we’re to follow as our living example of how to live out the instructions, and God The Holy Spirit who is God as our Helper, Teacher, Comforter, Intercessor as we live through the instructions because part of Gods nature is Him giving His all of what He chooses to reveal and allow therefore this lets you see that the only way to carry this out is as it says with all of thine heart, with no exceptions, where nothing is left out. So yes, this means no innie, minni, monni, mo, today I’ll keep the good and let the bad go, today I’ll keep the pretty and let the ugly go, today I’ll keep the embracing and let the embarrassing go. Well, why the heart? Out of all the other functions of the body? Because the heart is what’s considered to be the center seat of your inner thoughts, emotions and will to break it down even more it is the core, the root that holds and builds up all of your opinions and decisions on the inside that you encounter collectively in every area of your life on a daily basis that determines how you respond and react on the outside. So, we must realize God knows what’s best for you because of those thoughts that determine actions while those actions determine behaviors as He brings out the best in you.

Proverb # 2- LET GOD GUIDE YOUR DISCERNMENT

THE 2nd PART OF Vs.5 Says: AND LEAN NOT UNTO THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING

The word trust which we just dealt with, and this word lean which means to support are continuing words that goes hand in hand, it’s a consistent and steady change and you cannot believe one without the other therefore if you’re going to be confident and secure in God you cannot be the coach and self- asserter of your own perceptions because as you become more closer and connected to God your opinions and decisions will begin the renewing, it begins to become fresh for a new use that is meant to open you up to become more careful and sensitive to His Spirit because He knows that although by human nature we’re instinctive beings what you see, hear, become aware of and choose to, conclude on your own merit can turn out to be impulsive guessing and assuming that at end of the day consumed your spirit with confused and contradictory opinions and decisions because our judgement in most cases if we’re honest is based on how our spirits resonate. And I’m not talking about instincts we come across in this world because it’s obvious there is some type of disorder but, It’s when you go throughout life and your instincts size the situation of others up at an irresistible risk with no reasoning, the situations of others that we have never taken the time to introduce ourselves to or talk to because when you feel that there is no relation you automatically coerce yourself to believe what is right or what is wrong about the situations of others and the problem with this is although sometimes your instincts are right and sometimes your instincts are wrong it causes you to hit and miss, to mislead yourself, because what you’re really doing is basing the situations of others on face value, you have convinced and established yourself that there is something off about them and that’s not necessarily true, y'all know how it go, ugh I just can’t stand them, ugh it’s just something about them because there is something within you that just don’t like how they look, sound or interact which then makes you have to question your entire motive and intent for dealing with others as a whole but more importantly you miss out on what could’ve been a God given assignment to add more to your life and instead of accepting it, instead of looking back on the situations you've gone through from others that clearly shows most times your instincts have been wrong because of where you felt there was a relation instead of just coming to the realization that it’s really the similarities that you see in others, from what you have gone through with others that causes your spirit to go into that internal panic mode and a similarity doesn’t make your realization a truth but instead you assert and go back and forth now with yourself to find a way to audit it with your own theory because of your hurt pride but with His perception what He wants you to see, hear, and become aware of that He's already aware of and choose to conclude on His own merit will always be immortal guaranteed and accessible that at the end of the day consumed your spirit with convicting and confirming facts, because His judgement comes as a quickening for protection and correction through the Power of The Holy Spirit. Hebrews 4:12- Tells us for the Word of God is quick, and Powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. it’s when you go throughout life and out of nowhere whether you have a feeling of uncertainty about it or certainty that you’re going to do it your foreseen plans are interrupted with those accelerated plague’s and pressures of restlessness from the Holy Spirit that you cannot take credit for but neither can you deny from that small still voice, from those thoughts that stick and will not go away that activates into your inner thoughts, inner emotions and inner will don’t say that, don’t take that exit, don’t answer that text, don’t go over to that house, and just as sure as you’re alive what He said no to eventually shows up to be true in some shape, form, or fashion because He is a preserver of life

Proverb # 3- LET GOD GUIDE YOUR DECISIONS

THE 1st PART OF Vs.6 Says: IN ALL THY WAYS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM

This word ways means road, manner, way. And this word acknowledge means learn to know. So now as you’re growing confident and secure through the perceptions of God now that you’re on your journey on your passage of God removing, to rebuilding, to replacing, to restoring your inner thoughts, emotions, and will in every experience that will come from people, places, and practices you have to conduct yourself through the instructions of God, you have to form a habit of prayer which is through sincere communication and confession, between you and God, it’s us talking to Him when we’re not just happy but sad, mad and angry also  allowing Him to talk back to us which requires listening not to hear what you want to hear but to hear what you have to hear in order to know His voice over the voice and vices of the enemy which will lead you to sincere study of His word, the scriptures in order to observe and obtain His teachings from where He speaks because He knows the beginning from the end and when you don’t adhere to this you know what this says in its own way to you the name of God means cake walk, I’m going to ease through with a breeze because you’ve settled and said based on what you’ve already gone through you’re immediately exempt from the go through in order to get to but it doesn’t work like that it’s a process example: Because you’ve gone through hurt, you have to go through the healing that He assigns to you in order for you to become made whole because it’s a faith walk Hebrews 11:1- Tells us Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see and I won’t lie although there will be good days every day is still different and there will be times it will seem as though you’re on the edge getting ready to break because just like the times through the hurt and pain you’ve woke up crying in your bed wishing you could force yourself back to sleep, pulling over on the side of the road crying in your car not wanting to go on any further, pasted your floor all night long mad and angry in fear and frustration because you feel you have gone through so much to where maybe your life has been put here to be made a joke out of no matter how much you believe you will do the same through the healing and purging because it will seem similar, it will seem like when you speak he is silent, just ignoring you, it will seem like you’re not soaring but sinking, just losing it and suffocating, with no breath, no words left in you all at the same time, it will seem like there are no Sunday mornings but suffering, just beat up and beat down with no one there to help and you don’t want to convince yourself that He isn’t conscious of you because there is a difference with faith it’s not about what it seems like but what sustains you through life, because faith is discipline in what we declare and what you declare you cannot afford to postpone because He comes to do an individual inner work in you by working in His will to do by giving you what you need over what you want so no it will not be easy but His will, will be worth it.

• Proverb # 4- LET GOD GUIDE YOUR DESTINATIONS

THE 2nd PART OF Vs. 6 Says: AND HE SHALL DIRECT THY PATHS

This word direct means, to make smooth, to make straight. And this word paths means, way of living. So finally, now that you’re officially forfeiting being indifferent with Him to following His instructions by faith through the good and through the bad as you continue in the responsibility, as you remain steadfast and consistent in the actions and accountability that’s required for your appointed lifestyle, He will be responsible, He will be sure to act upon providing you with the provision for your appointed lifestyle, as your source He will be sure that every resource for everything that is meant for you to open your mouth and speak, to put your hands to do and, place your feet to go as you make it through the measure of the lifespan, the 10,20,30 yrs or more that He has allotted you is already aligned before your arrival, It’s Him having already gone before you and arranged the inner thoughts, emotions, and will of those He approves of concerning you and this is important because we will look for Him to come one way but when He stamps it He always comes in a way that leaves us shocked and surprised yes humbled because it’s always those we lease expected or those at the spare of the moment we never knew to be able to expect but that He knew would level up and obey Him so that by the time you hit that road of needing flexibility, food, finances, fun that rough spot of feeling as though you have to forsake who you’re and fight, fornicate, and live under false pretenses to come across it and end up at a dead in road of the department of correctional facilities, a deadly disease, or dead will be avoided because He is all about the road of decency, order, balance, and stability that puts you in the right place at the right time. You see in the middle of all this God looks out for the giver and receiver by forming a testimony in both of us that only we know and fixes it for us to come in contact to testify to each other of His works. Romans 8:28- Says and we know that God Causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. He knows the beginning to the end and the end from the beginning which says He is always traveling to and from in our livelihood to see what needs to be repaired and you always get greater results when you let God be God because the whole goal is to bring the sinner back to Him and keep the saint in reminder that it’s all Him.

THE WARFARES AGENDA TO TOXIC BEHAVIOR

Please understand the whole agenda of this spiritual warfare to toxic behavior is where the spirit of tenacity is at work, where your spirit has gained that mental grip you know how you say I got a grip on this thang of self- control, resisting unhealthy reactions that comes with self-consciousness, opening my eyes to think correctly and carefully concerning every area of my life and self-confidence, where I saw I’m going to see and don’t see, where I heard I’m going to hear and don’t hear, where I frowned I’m going to smile, where I cried I’m going to laugh, where I spoke negative I’m going to speak positive, where I would pull up, I’m going to pull back, where I worried I’m going to win all to cause it to resign for the spirit of timidity, the lack of all the above to be at work so that the thoughts cannot become actions. This is why with all the above I do suggest faith- based counseling which means you’ve decided that you’re going to get up you’re going to create a new beginning for yourself by moving out of your comfort zone that bubble of being blocked in isolation to research and consistently communicate with the right professional resource someone who is unfamiliar with you but who is skilled to see and tell you about your situation while in return providing the right self-help assignments to see you through because just in case you forgot you can have Jesus and a therapist.